A wellness routine includes all the dimensions of one’s existence.

I am very aware of my inner rebel, whose greatest pleasure is to sabotage my efforts.

Affirming the meaning behind my goals and researching the supporting evidence puts my rebel in check. That being said, there are other creative ways to let my inner rebel have some fun..

This post is going to be different from my others.

I’m trying something new, doing something I feel is outside my comfort zone.

I’m going to share with you an unedited recording and transcript of my audio diary. Honestly, it’s a simple way to share content with you that doesn’t take up a large amount of time like my other articles do. Also, I’m working on undoing some perfectionism, so the idea that this audio wasn’t chewed on and fine combed is somewhat terrifying.

I did not intend to share this recording; I was just doing what I normally do. Take the dog for a walk in the forest and let the streaming of my mind flow. I feel like I am connecting with my inner coach and guidance when allowing the free flow of thoughts to emerge. I used to carry a pocket size notebook with me to write the messages down but have started to use audio recording in the last year while on walks, which is so much easier.

The audio diary is personal and a little revealing, but I also feel that it’s realistic and authentic. I work in the wellness profession, and surely, that has its stereotypes of what you may expect to encounter. The truth is, I am in this profession to help myself and those who are drawn to my work. That means that my healing journey is part of the practice. There is not going to be a day when the work is done, which is a relief.

Thanks for taking the time to listen and read. I wish you wellness on the path.

Nada Brahma

Going along with the theme of Capricorn and Saturn, and a maturing and restraining, and bringing in this attitude of no nonsense, cutting to the point, and no longer putting up with behaviors, habits, and attachments that are out of alignment with the whole, the holism and health template of my body and soul.

We often know where the problems lie within our own behaviors and what adjustments are necessary.

But we do a really fantastic and clever job of subduing, repressing and sedating the signals that are meant to guide the behavior back into a coherent state that is supportive for the whole organism of you or me.

So Saturn, with this Capricorn new moon, is really about setting the tone of self-discipline, self-adjustment, attunement, and being able to kind of be the inner coach and get to the foundational work of being able to find that alignment, come into the core and stabilize.

And I’m talking about kind of the energetic structure of your body and your biofield, and the regulation of those systems that are present there, such as respiration, blood, lymph, endocrine glands, and hormone regulation, brainwave, regulation, all of that is interwoven in the biofield and what has happened for me is I have finally come into contact with this space in my own body and biofield that has been jamming up and locking up, lots and lots of energy and potential.

And for reference, this is for me the jam was located on the left hip, generating kind of from the sacrum, low back, and wrapping around the left thigh in the inguinal joint area, but also compressing nerves and sending pain all the way down my left leg on the inside, into my knee and into my foot.

So this was starting to become a big enough issue that I needed to address it and change up some of my habits and ways that I was going-

See I’m walking and that just hurt, but anyway, so I had a tuning session where it came up, it comes up every tuning session, but this one was really emphasizing the imbalance between the left and the right sides of my body.

So I know what patterns of information are held there. I understand the biofield anatomy map. And I recognize that it really probably was patterns going back generationally in my family, in particular on my mother’s side.

And so there was so much drag happening and heaviness on the left side of my body that it almost seemed like when I would walk, that that foot in leg wasn’t even really engaging with my mind.

And so I may have like every time I step, I have to consciously connect with my left leg and foot and be sure that I’m moving it in a balanced way with the rest of my body and integrate it.

It’s like it had been deadened, like a dead weight.

So I do have an injury originating in the ankle down there from when I was in the early 20s.

And that, just in general, the, what is that called?

I have posture. Incorrect, posture. I have a balanced posture chronically, my whole life pressing weight on my right hip and kind of leaving the left leg loose.

So all of that has now come to this place where I’m really in a lot of pain on my left side.

And there’s been a lot of trauma and readjustment and kind of wallowing and shit that happened already, you know, could go back and back and back.

And maybe perhaps there was or is a tendency for that to happen on the right side of the brain going into, should have done things differently. I could have been a different this or maybe, you know, I could have been a better mother, daughter, wife.

Should have done these things. That’s a kind of almost subconscious sort of thinking that I’m coming into contact with. And then also just feeling that sort of despair from being disconnected from my mom and my sisters.

So that connecting with habits, addictions that are disengaging the opportunity to feel.

And so what’s happening now is that I have removed the substance that was suppressing my ability to really feel all that stuff. Because that’s what alcohol does. It’s numbing, sedating, even just one or two glasses, right? Kind of has that effect.

And so that pattern had been pretty instilled in me for my whole life. It was demonstrated in my home, in the culture where I grew up. And it has been sort of my coping way of dealing with pain and trauma and reality of the present moment.

And so now that I’ve firmly decided to just give over that addiction to let it be the end of where that cycle has perpetuated suffering in my family.  I didn’t even enjoy that last drink of wine. It kind of made me feel sick to my stomach. It’s just putrid.

But what’s happening in my body now is I’ve had a week of just feeling like crap. Lots of inflammation, lots of soreness, tightness. And even now, I have been doing yoga along with giving up that addiction. And I have been going into the hot tub every evening and things are getting better. But there is definitely a feeling of things becoming worse.

And that’s only because there has been such a disconnection before numbed out.

And now I’m feeling all that pain that was locked up that is locked up and really deepening my practice of coming into the body and feeling what wants to happen there, responding to the needs of that side of the body.

And there it’s just through the physical stretching and movement and weight baring exercises to strengthen it. But also, the psychological functions and the other bio functions that need to be addressed through the rest of the systems.

But this hip will be stabilized and will be open and I am devoted to the process and will continue to move through this pain barrier that wants to contract and conceal and become calloused and hardened.

And disassociated and that’s how we end up with broken bones and fractures and injuries and all kinds of other problems when we lock away these pockets of disturbances of pain.

We all have them. That’s my personal story of what I’ve been dealing with this (last) year. And even though there is tremendous pain coming through, I am starting to feel so much better in my body and my mind.

Much more clarity and this comes from the power, the energy source that is being released is now circulating and there is a release of the struggle. So, the mental battle, there is a release in the energy of your body itself, the chemical energy that’s produced in the cells. There’s more hydration of the cells, so many benefits and all of that comes together as support.

Your needs and your desire to come into alignment.

That is the most juicy part of really following through with the messages of guidance that you’re very wise and intelligent body is communicating to you at every single moment.

So back to new moon intentions for this Capricorn Moon. It’s really going to be all about the devotional self-discipline to be able to ground and deeply root the practices that you have to do.

And the most important practices of self-care and wellness.

And that truly means honoring my needs and being able to allow energy to move freely through my body as emotions arise.

As feelings want to come through, as projects want to evolve through my being.

I just got super pinging in my right ear when I said that.

So that is very centering, coming into a place where my mind isn’t wallowing around in the past and what happened in that sort of remorseful way. It isn’t anxious and unsettled rhythmically pulsing too fast as the mind may get caught on the left side worrying about future.

So coming down into the feet and the knees and the root always primary because the head even you can spin out.

But it’s hard to spin from a base of two on the ground, the two feet.

And that brings me to yoga and the hands and the feet on the ground and discovering that stability in the body.

It’s just really exhilarating because I have had that experience before 20 years ago. I really started to get into yoga. And it really never stayed with me. So I’m coming back to it in a different new way.

And it’s totally just familiar and yet unexplored as I am also integrating myself with biofield tuning and integrating biofield tuning with yoga at the same time.

And I’m reminded that Capricorn has this symbolism of the sea goat.

As I recall, it relates to traversing the subconscious. And so in some ways I do feel that this work is playing with this hide and seek game of where you are now looking for pain.

You’re looking to discover these shadow complexes, these hang-ups, these distractions or ways that the psychic energy is being siphoned out of the center line.

And the sea goat is guiding that process.

We just settle into the sensation of going to the deepest places within and taking that light with you to intentionally encounter the void.

And I come into contact with what’s been left in this deep space of cold, untouched plasma, life force, chi. And you’re bringing kind of a flame to this space in your body and biofield.

And just caressing with the warmth to soften and melt just like fascia will do when you’re hydrated and you stretch it and press on it and really sort of bring in a sense of disturbance and agitation before allowing that reflexive sensation of deep relaxation in those places.

And that’s why yoga, and tuning are very, very compatible.

And I am combining those two practices as a type of religious, devotional life long way of being in my body as I move into the next phase of my life, the next half.

So I wish you all coherent freedom to allow yourself to come into contact with those places within your own body.

And what have you buried there? Are you ready to really allow your awareness to be there with yourself as you open, open up and bring in this new life force into the flow, allow it to change who you are, change your behavior, change your responses, and your attitude, your perception.

There’s a yielding and a willingness to be the one who looks for the darkness.

And that’s the only way I have found works.

As I stand here on both my legs, I just climbed the top of this hiking trail and it hurts.

But I know that it’s the type of hurt that was necessary to bring things back into balance.

So I encourage you to carry on in a very gentle way, in the most nurturing, supportive, nonjudgmental, relaxed way.

But firm, firm, be firm with yourself and your decision, because that’s what’s going to endure beyond those initial struggles when you’re kind of battling with parts of yourself.

Shauna Mayfield

Biofield Tuning Practitioner

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